


Pendulum

by rhimar



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, mentions of virgil and gordon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22430149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhimar/pseuds/rhimar
Summary: Jeff Tracy's return is a miracle, but Alan struggles with letting a man he barely remembers back into his life.
Relationships: Jeff Tracy & Alan Tracy, Jeff Tracy & Scott Tracy, Scott Tracy & Alan Tracy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Pendulum

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr under username thunderbirdthree  
> Do not repost onto any other website without credit.
> 
> I started writing this back during 3B, but then got sidetracked with life, but I still wanted to get it posted so here it is!

Alan supposed that his life up to this point had been a pendulum of sorts. Perfectly balanced, before being wildly pulled to one side, and having to tick slowly back to a balanced center. There had been life with mom, a life Alan was afraid to admit he had only the faintest memories of, after her death the pendulum had swung until finding a new balance, life without mom, but before dad’s disappearance. This was more clear in Alan’s head, but he’d still only been eight when dad had vanished, he was 16 now, that was half his life with his father gone. After dad had vanished, a new balance had been found, school, International Rescue, and his brothers taking over the duties that should have been his father’s. Alan hated to admit it, but that time had been the most stable in his life, the life he really, truly remembered. So when dad came back, his pendulum swung seemingly in the opposite direction of his brothers.  


When dad came back, his brothers where more than happy to try and continue life ‘as it had been before’. International Rescue continued to run in a similar manner to how it had been run in dad’s absence, and Alan was grateful. Sure, Scott and dad became co-leaders of International Rescue, but Alan was glad that he was allowed to remain the official primary pilot of Thunderbird Three, even if his missions were cut down to allow him to work on school. He wished that hadn’t happened and he could go out more though, it was only during rescue mission where he felt like he had some stability.  


His dad had taken over as head of the family again, and Alan had never felt more out of place. Out of all his brother’s he was the only one who had changed, who had really changed in his dad’s absence. He barely even remembered the man, and Jeff didn’t really know him anymore. He loved his dad, and he was not in doubt that his dad loved him, and was proud of who Alan had become, but Jeff hadn’t raised him. Scott had, but now his brother was just that again, his brother, and it was unspoken but both Alan and Jeff knew it, even if Scott himself seemed perfectly happy to slip back into his old role, alongside John, Virgil and Gordon.  
Alan found himself pushing, where was the boundary, what would it take for them to notice that all was not alright. It started small, dad would put him on dish duty and Alan just wouldn’t do it. Dad wouldn’t yell at him, just sigh and do them himself, while his brothers sent him annoyed looks. Eventually it transformed into flat out refusing to do school work, and playing video games all day, skipping family meals to hang out elsewhere on the island, and the dirty looks had become worried glances. The only place Alan refused to slack was for IR, he didn’t think he could forgive himself if he let someone get hurt. He did notice however that his missions where dropping off, and he was being activated only when dad was not available. No one had told him this, but he had seen the logs, and even Virgil had been sent out in Three on one occasion when Alan had been out elsewhere on the island.  


He was lying in his room one afternoon videogames, when the pendulum shifted again. There was a knock at the door and glancing up, Alan saw his dad standing there. Jeff Tracy walked in, and sat next to Alan,  
“Mind if I play?” Alan shrugged passing him his extra controller.  
“You’re going to have to show me, never really got the hang of these things.” Alan half-smiled, showing his dad the basic movements, run, jump, hide, how to shoot his weapon. His dad was right, he wasn’t a very good player and Alan beat him in every level. They sat in silence, not talking, just playing before Jeff cleared his throat.  
“Alan, I know that all this…. Hasn’t necessarily been easy on you. It’s hard to go back to a normal that never really existed.” Suddenly the floor was the most interesting thing Alan had ever seen. He stared down the the worn rug. Huh had it always had green in it?  
“Al.” His dad lifted Alan’s chin until they were making eye contact. “I never got to be much of a dad to you and I will be sorry for that as long as I live. I missed out on so much, we’re almost strangers, but…” Jeff moved Alan’s face, which he’d been trying to turn away back towards him. “I love you so much Alan, and I’m so proud of the person you’ve become.” There was a pause. “Scott did a good job raising you.” Alan bristled, wanting to deny it, but he couldn’t so he just looked away.  
“Grandma helped.” He muttered. Jeff laughed. “She managed not to poison you, so I would say she did great.” Alan was able to smile at that. Jeff sombered up again.  
“Allie, we might not have old memories and routines to fall back on, like I do with your brothers, but we do have the rest of our lives ahead of us to try and build a relationship, and I’d really, really like to get to know you. This Alan Tracy, not the toddler, or the little kid, but the wonderful young man you’ve grown up to be. If you’ll give me the chance.”  
Alan smiled slightly, yeah, that sounded like something he could do. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders, he had spent the last couple months feeling like the odd one out, like he wasn’t a part of his own family, but it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Maybe things could change, he wanted it to, so he nodded, and let his dad draw him into a hug.  


Scott was standing out on the balcony looking out over the water. It was nice to have moments like this again. With his dad back and them splitting both International Rescue and Tracy Enterprises duties, he finally felt like he had moments of free time. Too bad he could never fully enjoy them. He was a worrier by nature and since dad had come home he found himself constantly worried. Alan. He loved the kid, he loved all his brothers, but he had always felt more responsible and protective when it came to Alan.It hadn’t escaped his notice that Alan had changed a lot since dad came home. At first it had annoyed him, Alan had turned into a petulant… brat for lack of a better word. At first Scott had been annoyed, wasn’t the fact that their dad had come home alive not the most miraculous thing to have happened to the family? But as time past the reality had begun to hit him. It was in the little things, how their dad hadn’t known Alan was allergic to shrimp, an allergy that had emerged when Alan was 9 in a reaction that had given Scott his first gray hairs. Or that dad didn’t know what schoolwork Alan was doing, and his passion for game theory. It wasn’t that dad loved Alan any less, but he didn’t know him like he did the rest of them. Even before his disappearance, after their mother’s death Scott, and to an extent Virgil, had been the primary father figures in Alan’s life, and dad coming back had upset that balance. He sighed resting his chin in his hands. Something had to change, Alan was an excellent pilot and a good kid, and it killed Scott that they were having to limit his missions because they couldn’t trust him to keep his attitude in check.  
“Penny for your thoughts?” A gruff voice came from behind him. Scott stood up and turned around to see Jeff standing in the door.”  
“Oh hey dad.”  
“What’s on your mind? You look worried.” Jeff came over the stand next to Scott. Scott turned back towards the view and sighed.  
“I’m thinking about Alan, I’m worried about him.” Jeff let out a breath.  
“You and me both kid, but I think things are going to change.” Jeff recounted the conversation he had had with Alan. “I hate that you were put in this position, but you have been more a father to that kid than I ever have, and I want to help change that, but it’s not going to be overnight. I don’t want to ask more of you, but…”  
“You need me to step up again.” Scott finished. “Yeah, I think that’s the best way forward.” Jeff nodded, wrapping an arm around Scott’s back.  
“Thank you. I just hope it isn’t too late.”  
“Alan’s a good kid dad, I think we all failed to think about how this would affect him.” Scott paused. “He’s glad you’re home though, I know that much, it’s just a difficult adjustment.” Jeff nodded, looking off into the distance before patting Scott’s back.  
“Come on, it’s almost dinner time, and I want to beat your grandma to the kitchen.” Scott laughed,  
“I know for a fact that we all appreciate you being back to cook.”  


The atmosphere at dinner was less tension filled that it had been in a while. Alan actually came down to eat with the family, and although he wasn’t as talkative as he used to be, he managed to be polite, and seemed happy to have Scott’s attention focussed mostly on him. Scott veered away from subjects that were guaranteed to spark a fight, primarily school and anything involving IR, instead asking Alan about his video games. He was pleased that Alan was happy to talk to him, and pleased that dad was listening attentively, asking questions. Virgil and Gordon shared a look, happy that World War 5 wasn’t about to break out, but wondering where this dramatic shift in attitude had come from. Scott caught Virgil’s eye with a look that said he’d explain later. Gordon managed to get into the conversation, and started to joke with Alan in a way he hadn’t for the past couple months. As the meal progressed the tension got lighter, and Scott began to feel like maybe they could be a proper family again once and for all. He took a risk, asking Alan to help him with the dishes, something Alan had refused to even consider every time dad had asked, and to his surprise (and relief) his brother readily agreed. Alan made his way into the kitchen, and as Scott got up to follow him he shared a knowing smile with his father.  


The pendulum was swinging again, for the whole family. Life would never be how it used to be for any of them, but they could build a new story, togther.


End file.
